


Messy Mayhem of Madness

by lrhaboggle



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Chaos, EVERYTHING GOES WRONG, Funny, One Shot, Parody, Poor Everyone, Short, Sister Location, Weird, bad bidybabs, bad minireenas, because the minireenas and bidybabs are tiny satans, bidybabs are bullies, children are a nightmare, fnaf - Freeform, havoc - Freeform, mad dash, minireenas are mean, no one likes kids, parenting is a nightmare, poor Ballora, poor baby, the pizzeria is nearly destroyed, weird nights at Freddy's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 23:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16458845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: What happens when Ballora's ankle-biter Minireenas escape from captivity and then free the BidyBabs so that they both can wreck havoc upon the pizzeria? Well, let's just say that it becomes a long, hard night of hunting down Minireenas and BidyBabs BEFORE the pizzeria is totally destroyed.





	Messy Mayhem of Madness

"WHEEEEEEE! AHAHAAHAHAHHAHAAAAAHHAHHHAAAA!" shrill shrieks and overjoyed giggles filled the once-quiet halls of Circus Baby's Pizza World. Suddenly, then, the darkened pizzeria came to life with movement. All over the place, tiny mannequins danced. They ran, jumped, skipped, spun and just generally cavorted through the abandoned restaurant, all giggling and screeching with high-pitched laughter and squeals. Chasing after them were four larger animatronics, all of them exasperated and angry.

"Who let the Minireenas out?!" the leader of the four demanded. It was Circus Baby herself, running impossibly fast for someone so large and heavy. She pounded steadily after the Minireenas, occasionally swiping at any one that came too close to her, but it was never too hard for the Minireenas to just spin aggravatingly right out of reach.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" one of the Minireenas jeered as Baby missed her again.

"It wasn't my fault!" the next animatronic in line whined. This one was the big white bear known as Funtime Freddy. Just like Baby, he was moving unnaturally fast for a giant metal robot. He wasn't quite as fast as she was, but it was close. Where his right hand should've been was a little blue bunny hand-puppet, BonBon.

"Yes it was," she countered cheerfully.

"No it wasn't!" Freddy repeated angrily.

"Yes it was!" she replied, insistent.

"Oh, come on, BonBon! Aren't you supposed to be on my side!?" Freddy whined, looking at his hand. "I only wanted to see what dancing on Ballora's stage felt like! I never meant for them to escape!" he cried.

"It was still your fault!" BonBon replied in a sing-song voice. Freddy growled at her.

"Look! Enough! We just need to catch these little devils before they destroy the pizzeria!" a third animatronic, Ballora the Ballerina, interrupted. Her voice was low, slow and smooth, but in a time like this, she had enough determination, worry and irritation that it fluctuated into something angrier and more energetic than its normal low, slow hum. Her metal tutu spun faster and faster as she tried to catch up to one of her smaller dancers. She extended a long, thin, delicate, spidery arm and managed to brush a finger on one of the Minireena's tiny tutus, but the little thing merely chirped up at her before doing a grand jete and landing just out of reach.

"Ooohh! You little devil!" Ballora grumbled, voice even lower now that she was growling. The Minireena only chirped up at her again with that same squealy tone, even waving a mitten-like hand in a mocking farewell before spinning away again. Oooh! She really hated those things! She bitterly cursed her creator for trying to make them for her. Foolish man, thinking she needed backup dancers! He could've at least given her dancers that weren't total psychos too! These "little gifts" from him to her were nothing short of torture, the worst idea he'd ever had.

The sound of pained barking suddenly filled the air and Baby, Ballora and Freddy all whipped around to see their fourth and final companion, Funtime Foxy, being assaulted by the vicious little Minireenas.

"Stupid Anklebiters!" the fox howled as one of them bit his tail and several of them began climbing up his body. He thrashed violently, trying to get them off, but with every time he shook his body, the Minireenas only seemed to cling closer and climb faster until he was pretty much buried under a swarm of these tiny little demons. They were like insects or pests, small in stature but big in number and absolutely a nuisance. They giggled in delight and amusement as the fox continued to swipe at them with his claws. It wasn't effective at all.

"Grrrrr! Get off, get off, GET OFF!" Foxy thundered, finally knocking three of them off at once. Sadly, five more returned to take their places. At last, Foxy collapsed, having tripped over his own tail whilst trying to fight off the Minireenas. One of said Minireenas had been holding Foxy's tail in place for the trip to happen and she giggled when he fell to the floor, hard.

"We gotta get out of here!" Freddy despaired, then he ran past Ballora and Baby in a total panic, but that was no more effective than Foxy trying to fight the Minireenas head on. They all saw the large metal bear trying to escape and the ones that weren't busy crawling all over Foxy went dancing after Freddy. They were very fast.

"No. No. No. Nonononononono!" Freddy despaired as they caught up to him, spinning and leaping madly.

"Run faster, Freddy!" BonBon commanded with a high-pitched yelp as one of the Minireenas jumped high enough to land on Freddy's back. Being as spidery and spindly as it was, it crawled easily up Freddy's back despite how physically smooth his body was. Freddy bellowed and tried to wave the creature off as he saw it appear on his arm.

"Ballora?! Baby?! DO SOMETHING!" he screamed for their help. Baby and Ballora exchanged a look before both of them took off.

"Freddy! Hold still!" Baby commanded as she tried several times to swipe at the Minireena, only to miss and smack Freddy instead.

"Do something, do something, DO SOMETHING! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoff!" Freddy replied wildly.

"Freddy! You need to calm down and slow down, or else-" Ballora tried to command him, but the Minireena on Freddy's arm suddenly jump all the way onto Ballora's face. She gave a muffled scream and clawed at her own facial plates, but the Minireena dodged her fingers easily.

"Ha, ha, ha!" it giggled mockingly.

"You horrible, evil, little wretches!" Ballora snarled as the Minireena continued to get caught in her facial plates but then escape right before she could grab at it. Freddy, seeing the thing latch onto Ballora's face, went into a frenzy.

"Freddy! Calm down!" Baby commanded, angry now, but Freddy was beyond reasoning.

"Could things get any worse?!" the bear moaned.

"Don't say that!" Baby snarled at once. "Or you'll jinx it and-"

And before she could even finish, the jinx worked. Suddenly, a new type of laughter filled the room. It still sounded young and small, but sounded more like babies as opposed to a bang of giggly girls.

"The BidyBabs!" Baby gasped in horror. She swiveled her head around. Sure enough, her own little children had emerged from their prison too.

"And who let them out?!" Freddy demanded as the new set of tiny robots began to waddle around.

"Probably one of the Minireenas!" Baby cursed darkly, and her guess was correct. Although she didn't know it, while most of the Minireenas were making life miserable for her and her three companions, a few of them had slipped away, undetected, to wake up the BidyBabs. Now it was a messy mayhem of madness, little robots running, jumping, dancing, spinning, crawling and waddling all around the pizzeria, overturning tables and chairs, chewing on anything they could get their little razor teeth into, cutting wires, breaking screens and windows, vandalizing, throwing things and making merry all the while. It was going to be a nightmarish night, trying to round all of them up again.

"AHHHHHHH!" Freddy bellowed as one of the Minireenas managed to get her tiny teeth past some of his body plates and bite a wire. He collapsed in pain and surprise. Baby stopped but he waved her on.

"Go on without me!" he despaired. "I'm done for! Doomed! A dead bear!"

"Oh, Freddy! Come on! Get up!" Baby snapped impatiently, tapping her massive metal foot and occasionally kicking it out to fend off the swarm of Minireenas and BidyBabs, but Freddy was too beside himself to hear her properly.

"Oh! Go! Go on without me! Goodbye cruel world!" he sobbed as more and more Minireenas swarmed his body, giggling and humming.

At last, the big white bear pushed the button on his right wrist, releasing BonBon.

"You, my nearest, dearest, oldest and closest companion, go now! Be free! Live to tell my story! Save yourself! Get out of here!" he cried.

"Wait, Freddy, wait! No! Don't!" BonBon panicked as she felt Freddy remove her from her normal position on his hand. She knew what was coming next, and it wasn't going to be pretty...

Suddenly, she was airborne, Freddy having thrown her as hard as possible. She soared for a good 10 feet and probably would've gone for another 10 more, had there not been a big steel door in the way. She hit it with a loud thud, falling to the floor.

"Owwwww," she grumbled. Baby only buried her face in her hand and sighed in exasperation.

"Idiots! Must I do everything myself?!" she demanded softly. Although the BidyBabs and Minireenas had since caught up with her too, she continued to violently throw them off of her body whenever she got the chance.

"Alright! You little monsters! It's time we set you straight, cleaned you up, and got you out!" she said at last. She grabbed a stray Bidybab from her leg and threw it away from herself as hard as possible. "You little nightmares are going to go back to where you've come from and if you won't go willingly, then I'm gonna make you!" she snapped. Her only reply came in the form of raucous laughter and little robot hands pointing at her, jeering. Baby's facial plates shifted in anger. "So, that's how you wanna play it, huh?" she whispered. "Then let's do it!" and then the messy mayhem of madness got even messier.

Baby ran over to Foxy first, slowly but surely prying every single little last animatronic from his fur. Then, as soon as she would managed to pry one off of the poor robotic fox, she would stuff it inside her massive chest cavity. Although opening it up also opened up dark memories, she figured that it was high time she put that useless cavity to work and have it do something good and genuinely productive. Before, it was supposed to have been an ice-cream dispenser. Supposed to. But then something went wrong... But it wasn't something she tried to dwell upon. Only when she was left alone at night with nothing but her thoughts, memories and guilt did she ever think about her chest cavity, or the ice cream scooper/claw that lay within it. Of late, she'd realized bitterly that having this chest cavity meant she was literally heartless. A fitting descriptor, no?

But Baby really was not going to think about that tonight! Tonight, her chest cavity was going to do some good and store the Minireenas until Baby could return them to their proper place, underneath Ballora's stage. Ballora's stage had originally been a normal stage until the Minireenas showed up. The moment Ballora realized that they were nothing short of tiny hyperactive children with metal skins, she quickly imprisoned them in the small space under her stage. It was a very nice prison, though, all things considered. It was fully furbished with furniture small enough for the Minireenas to use, there were all kinds of lights and music players and lots of other shiny odds and ends that she occasionally would drop down to them through the trapdoor, but it was still a prison nonetheless. That trap door remained sealed shut unless Ballora opened it, her actively keeping it locked and then hiding the key in one of her joints, but somehow, this time, the Minireenas had escaped their underground home. Maybe Freddy had knocked a bolt loose in the door while dancing on Ballora's stage? After all, that stage hadn't been designed to support a big metal bear. It had been designed to support a graceful and lithe woman.

As soon as the last BidyBab and Minireena had been removed from Foxy, he hopped up to his hind-paws and cried out in relief.

"Thanks Baby!" he panted in relief, his barking and dog-like whining ceasing now that he was freed again. He dusted off his pelt gratefully.

"Don't thank me yet!" she muttered darkly. "We've still got to catch the rest of them!" then she patted her stomach. He gave her a long, fanged grin and bowed elegantly. Her facial plates shifted in amusement then she, and him, returned to nabbing the Minireenas and BidyBabs.

As the night rolled on, Baby managed to get Funtime Freddy and BonBon back in action as well.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" Freddy panted as Baby and Foxy both yanked him to his feet.

"Shut up and start catching," Baby grunted in reply as she slammed another Minireena into her rapidly-filling chest cavity. "Maybe tie a rope around BonBon, throw her at a Minireena, and let her hold onto it while you reel it back in," she suggested.

"What a brilliant idea!" Freddy had replied. BonBon only gave Baby a dismayed cry.

"You mean he's going to be flinging me around even more?!" she whimpered.

"At least it won't be into the Parts and Services room's steel door," Baby growled and BonBon was forced to play along.

But then of course, this meant that Freddy just had to mess up with the rope at least once. Once the BidyBabs figured out what Freddy was doing, one of them managed to find a large shard of glass from one of the windows they had broken earlier and the next time the rope came its way, it cut the rope right in two. BonBon was lost again in the messy mayhem of madness while Freddy's only response was:

"Uh oh!" before he went running again, but because he was still holding onto the other end of the rope, all the BidyBab had to do was tie its own end of the rope to the nearest thing it could find. With one simple jerk, Freddy ended up flat on his back, arm stretched out with the rope.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, HAAA!" the BidyBabs danced and cheered with each other, pointing and laughing at the humiliated bear.

"Well, that's gonna leave a mark," Foxy observed, peering over Freddy's spread-eagle body.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," Freddy grumbled in reply.

"Oh, I didn't mean you, I meant the floor," Foxy smirked down at him. "Get up, see if you left a crack in the tile."

"You jerk!" Freddy responded, but he got up regardless. "See? Not even a scratch!" he gestured to the place where he had fallen. Suddenly, then, Freddy felt something small grab his foot. In a panic, he kicked, and BonBon was suddenly soaring through the air again. She flew straight through a cracked window and finally landed on the ground on the other side of the window.

"Not a scratch?" Foxy asked then.

"Ooops," Freddy replied. Meanwhile, BonBon was rubbing her aching head. She hated the BidyBabs and Minireenas so much!

Meanwhile, Baby was actually trying to work. There were only a few Minireenas and BidyBabs left to find and contain, but if anything, that only made the game that much harder. She could feel the ones that she had caught pounding on her insides and was able to count about 15 different sets of hands. That meant maybe 10 more left to find. She would have to count carefully... She wondered, then, briefly, if Ballora had found any of the missing 10 yet. Baby hadn't seen in her in awhile.

"Where did you go, Ballora?" the young bot asked herself as she continued to search the halls. She could still hear that ever-present, ever-distant shrilly laughter of the Minireenas, followed by the occasional crash as they broke something else, and she could still hear Foxy and Freddy bumbling around in the background, being doofuses like usual, but she could not hear Ballora anywhere.

Baby found out about 20 seconds later where the dancer had gotten off to. After that one Minireena managed to latch onto her face and mess with her facial plates, others had followed suit and they even managed to drag their "mother" back to her stage. They had originally tried to force her into that space under the stage, but as she was literally too big to fit, they resorted to something else...

"You dirty, rotten, no-good, little piles of filth!" Ballora could be heard muttering, cursing. Baby peeked into the gallery and looked up to the stage to see the beautiful dancer in several different pieces, each Minireena holding one of those pieces and dancing around the stage in a weirdly violent and merry little performance. Baby quickly found the Minireena holding Ballora's head and could see that while Ballora's eyes were shut, her mouth certainly wasn't. She continued to curse the tiny bots for ever even existing.

"Don't know why you were created! Wastes of space if you ask me!" she harrumphed. Baby almost laughed. How Ballora was it to be more offended and annoyed than terrified that she was now existing in about six different pieces?

"Alright guys, the show's over! Take your bow! And there will be no encores tonight!" Baby interrupted at last, stepping from the shadows and into the dim light of the stage. The Minireenas stopped spinning at once when they saw her enter, but they continued to hold Ballora's various body parts. "Alright now, come on, give 'em back," Baby demanded, but her only response came in the form of the Minireenas leaping off the stage and trying to dart out the door. Baby managed to get a few of Ballora's body parts back, head included, but everything else escaped back out into the main part of the pizzeria again.

"I hate those things," Baby told Ballora's head in angry exasperation.

"Me too," it replied, in the same exact tone. Then both of them chased after the tiny dancers once again.

Following several more misadventures where Foxy was strung up by his tail, Freddy ended up breaking half the tables in one of the rooms, Ballora's body parts were nearly lost again and Baby herself had taken several violent falls (once down some stairs, once off a stage, twice into a door, thrice into a wall, once into a window and quite a few just flat on her face), the last of the Minireenas and BidyBabs had been caught.

"There we go! There we go!" Baby panted as she frantically shoved another one of her BidyBabs into her chest cavity. It was now full to bursting and Baby was genuinely concerned that if they didn't find a new place to put the tiny devil spawns, they would just burst out her chest again and force them to start the scavenger hunt all over again.

"Let's not even go there!" Freddy pleaded, helping hold Baby's stomach shut.

In time, Baby had successfully returned all her BidyBabs to their proper place within her own gallery, but not before a few Minireenas had nearly slipped out as well. Now, terrified that it might actually happen, Freddy was physically helping keep Baby's stomach shut, even though it was closing better now that the BidyBabs were all gone. They were quite angry about this development and blew raspberries at Baby and company from behind the glass walls of their own little prison. Baby ignored them, letting them whine and make rude, angry noises. Just as long as they were locked away again... But now they had to return the Minireenas...

"Foxy, be a dear and see if you can figure out how they escaped my stage in the first place, will you?" Ballora requested politely, heaving another sigh. She was still in multiple parts.

"Yes Ma'am!" Foxy saluted her smartly, then sprinted away faster than anyone could see. For the next hour, after Freddy managed to loop a really heavy bar of metal around Baby's stomach, the four animatronics worked hard on Ballora's stage. Turned out that some rain damage from a water leak that none of the rare nightguards or technicians ever even tried to fix caused a large part of the back of the stage to rot clean away. With all that wood rotten, it wasn't hard to see how or why the Minireenas had finally escaped.

"Stupid humans! Leave it to us to do their job and to do it correctly!" Ballora cursed again as she instructed Freddy and Foxy on how to fix her stage. She had basic motor control in her hands, so sometimes Freddy and Foxy would use her arms as tools since her fingers were thinner and, thusly, more maneuverable. It was strange, to see a fox and bear holding a woman's arms while her head directed the operation, but if it was what got the stage refurbished, no one was going to complain.

Sometime right before dawn, the last of the stage had been put back together. It was a very basic job and really more of a patch than a real fix, but it was durable enough to hold the Minireenas in tight this time and that was all that mattered.

"Thank goodness!" Baby shoved her way towards the one small opening left in the stage and carefully opened up her chest cavity right over that entrance. The Minireenas and fell from her body and any one that tried to climb back into Baby or slip past her or whatnot to escape was forcibly shoved down by the ice-cream scooper claw in Baby's chest. The stage's trapdoor was shut and locked with four sighs of relief.

"Never thought I'd see the day when that was useful," she grumbled as the last of the Minireenas was dropped down under Ballora's stage. Baby felt that horrible claw retract back into her chest, but this time, she almost was glad that she had it. She sealed her stomach shut once again, relieved that the incessant banging and knocking had finally ceased.

"Never thought I'd see the day we managed to subdue them!" Foxy barked happily, wagging his tail a bit. Baby only laughed lightly in agreement.

"But what are we going to do about the rest of the pizzeria?" Freddy interrupted and the four wilted again. Sure, the Minireenas were safely locked away again, but the rest of the restaurant was still in shambles. And Ballora was still in six pieces.

"Looks like our job isn't done yet after all," Baby sighed heavily. "We've got clean up to do..." and the others all groaned miserably, but as Baby trudged her way back out of Ballora Gallery and into the heart of their trashed pizzeria home, the others followed suit, each grabbing a broom or a mop. There was broken glass, sparking wires, broken tables and chairs, spilled food and drink and various dents and holes in doors and walls. The messy mayhem of madness wasn't over after all then. Electronics were broken, streamers and party favors were scattered across the floor and the kitchen was a mess of spilled food and utensils. Stages were damaged, curtains were torn. No one had been spared from this little robot rampage. There was graffiti and physical damage everywhere. Signs were torn, logos were crushed, things were flickering and sparking.

"Oh well, let's just get to it," Baby sighed heavily, and so they did.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This weird, crazy little "crack-fic" was based off a fanfic I read where Ballora actually hated her Minireenas because they acted like this (wild, crazy little children that wouldn't stop messing things up). It was a funny story, albeit weird, and this is just my version of it. It's also somewhat based off the one shot in the actual game where the Minireenas are dancing with Ballora's severed body parts. And it's just supposed to be an alternate interpretation of the Minireenas. Instead of being Ballora's little minions, they are her cross to bear, her wild children that she cannot control (I'm sure ALL parents feel this way about their kids at least once, good or bad).
> 
> If anyone wants to imagine what this might've looked like, just imagine the Cornish Pixie scene from Harry Potter 2, or imagine the Caterpillar Room scene from Toy Story 3, or the scene in Night at the Museum where Larry the nightguard is subdued by the mini figures of the Roman army, or the Squirrel scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, etc. Or just imagine any time you were swarmed by bugs and or were looking after children or pets or had to clean up a big mess. 
> 
> And of course this is not canon, given that the BidyBabs and Minireenas aren't actually locked away by their leading robots and I did raise the number a bit. I was thinking 15 Minireenas and 10 BidyBabs instead of 8 and 3, which is closer to the canon number, I think. Also, BonBon being thrown into the door was a reference to a joke animation in SL's Custom Night. In short, this fic is just a weird parody to show the accidently hilarity and general unprofessional nature of Circus Baby's Pizza World. Hope y'all found it funny and not too weird.


End file.
